Ammo Crate Constraints and Specifications

ALRIGHT, it is Wednesday (my dudes), and you know what that means, time for another obligatory post. This post is gonna behave like a Goosebumps choose your scare book, so if you want to just read the Constraints and Specifications succinctly summarized read the next paragraph, if you want all the details of these Specs and Constraints read the second paragraph, if you want to read none of the Constraints or Specs read the third paragraph to learn a little about amazon river dolphins (they’re pink).

This paragraph was placed here to let you know that what you are looking for is in the above picture, and yes, this is technically a paragraph because once I read a book where there was an entire paragraph that was one sentence so if they can do it so can I.

Welcome to paragraph two, this has the information and more. You will get to experience my critical thinking and ability to explain myself. I don’t know if a bulleted list is a paragraph though, so this may throw off the whole “choose your scare thing” just know I tried. Or, its like, paragraph one is succinct and paragraphs 2 through 12 are the specific ones… I think.

Specifications

  • Actuation – It has come to my attention that the system that works really well for making a water tight seal on the lid, does not work so well as behaving as a one sided opening hinge system. Who would have guessed? Not me, hence why I am here. I have to figure out a good way to get one side of the ammo can to open while allowing the other to rotate. I am thinking a store bought hinge but its tricky since there is some actuation in the linear motion.
  • Fits – I really really really hope that this fits. After all I have measured twice everything and even mocked up each individual piece just to make sure that it does. If it does not I may just have to start cutting into the car since this finished project is going to be a work of art.
  • Aesthetically Driven  – The cans are painted a military dark green, probably an olive drab?  Dont know, stole some paint splotches from home depot as a kid and that sounds right. I want to accent this with brass colored hardware since that will match the look well. I also am sticking primarily to blacks and simplistic and overbuilt components for this design.
  • Functions – This center console will be either the same or slightly bigger than the previous, MUST have better cupholders and if I have time I really want to add a cigarette lighter to the back of it so that the homies in the back of the car can charge their devices.
  • Minty Fresh – Ha! you thought. This actually means that I want to put a nice looking finish on the final component. The cans will have a lacquer finish and I want to make sure that whatever I add to this is long lasting and looks good so that it looks “minty fresh.” 

Constraints

  • Craftsmanship – I always seem to add a bit of my personal flare to whatever project I work on. That, “Oh wow, the second time I did that it looks much better, but I cant be bothered to fix the first time I did it so I guess it will stay.” I tend to sacrifice form as long as it works “well enough.” I also don’t have much experience working with ammo cans and by much I mean any.
  • Brass – Turns out, brass fixturing’s are more expensiver than other fixturing’s and that, my friends, is not cash money.
  • Tool challenged – I pretty much have hand tools, no saws and a drill from IKEA that has seen much better days. This project will be put together to the best of my ability with the tools that I have.
  • Time – This one feels a little obvious, but if I dont have enough time, or I procrastinate then I will be unable to complete the project to either satisfactory or to my liking.
  • Cojones – This one seems inappropriate, but I can tie this in, hold on. On top of the Aesthetic the end result has to look manly and strong and aggressive and unnecessarily dangerous (This may just be a result of not sanding down sharp edges) . Also its a project based around two cans, do with that what you will. 

 

Paragraph 3 or… 13 I think. So the amazon river dolphin is a dolphin native to the amazon and rivers. It lives in rivers, and because it is a mammal it can live in both salt water estuary’s and salt’nt river ways however it prefers to spend its time in the rivers because that is where its main food supply is. Like flamingoes the pink river dolphin has a spine that bends backwards, and unlike flamingoes its pink color comes from shrimp and other pink colored crustaceans it eats… probably. The river dolphin is smaller than ocean dolphins, kind of like the way that freshwater boats are smaller than ocean boats, unless you are like those pirates in the movie with Tom Hanks where he goes like “I am the captain now,” they had a really small boat on the ocean. The pink river dolphin  uses its incredibly flexibility to worm and wiggle and writhe through the downed logs and river growth to catch its food, which I think is pretty neat. It makes me think about Po from Kung Fu Panda with the cookie scene. Like imagine you had to do the splits every time that you wanted to eat cereal, I wouldn’t want to do that. Thats pretty much it I think, I did a report on these dolphins like back in middle school so this all I remember… Ewww, just looked up an image these are some ugly lookin dolphins.

That’s a face only a mother could love. Endangered though, so its sad, but still.

 

Image:

Dolphin : https://a-z-animals.com/media/PinkDolphin2-1024×683.jpg

 

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4 Comments. Leave new

  • Hannah Moller
    Hannah Moller
    April 11, 2021 3:06 pm

    Thanks for teaching me something new, I had no idea that I would have no desire to see a Pink River Dolphin so color me surprised. Overall I definitely agree with your specifications and constraints although if you have no idea if it will fit into your car yet I would highly recommend figuring that out now.

    Reply
  • Gary Marshall
    Gary Marshall
    April 8, 2021 12:32 am

    Josh,
    As always, it was a pleasure to read your post. You bring me joy in these type of assignments with your humor. On a serious note, I would suggest you quantify some of your specs a little more (ie. fit -> dimensions). Ill keep reading your posts, your writing style is something else man! Also, I grew up in Venezuela so I got to see the Toninas (pink river dolphins) in real life!

    Reply
    • I would agree that I could quantify more, Im just going to quantify the constraints once the project is done so it meets every constraint.

      Reply

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